MAP positivity has as much sense as rapist positivity or murderer positivity. You fuckers don’t have a right to a safe space or positivity, you belong in the therapy or in prison. By making MAP positivity and safe spaces you normalise paedophilia and actively make it unsafe for children and contribute to sexual abuse towards children. You aren’t “not harmful” paedophile if you spread MAP positivity.
This kind of behaviour only damages and puts children in danger. ~Cinder
🚫so I just found the “map positivity” tag on tumblr, warning: it’s sick 🚫
🚫if you’re a map, don’t get tumblr, go get some help 🚫
🚫pedophilia is bad, don’t try to spread positivity about it 🚫
🚫if you disagree with this, unfollow me now 🚫
“My boyfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other girls,” is just as unhealthy as “My girlfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other guys.”
“You can’t hang out with [boyfriend’s female friend] anymore,” is just as abusive as “You can’t hang out with [girlfriend’s male friend] anymore.”
“My man isn’t allowed to go out with his guys unless I’m with him,” is just as creepy and possessive as “My girl isn’t allowed to go out with her friends unless I’m with her.”
A woman who controls and manipulates her boyfriend is just as abusive as a man who controls and manipulates his girlfriend, pass it on.
The fact that it’s normal for women to cosplay as male characters but laughable if men cosplay as female characters makes me want to claw my own eyes out and fling myself directly into the sun
real big trauma mood is crying for 5 minutes once every six months and then going back to repressing every emotion
***TW: Some graphic questions near the end of this post which are specific to CSA survivors are mentioned, please read with caution***
It can only get better from here. Working with someone who has this disorder can take years to even begin the recovery process. As much as it may come from a good place, it is very dismissive to say, especially when someone has opened up to you.
Isn’t there someone you can see about this? Although this is true, not everyone has access to mental health services. Very few places, even in North America, have free mental health/crisis services that are available to the general public.
You’ll only re-hash it if you keep talking about it. As much as someone who doesn’t have this disorder may perceive it that way, part of the healing process for both PTSD and C-PTSD is to talk about it. A lot of the times what will happen is, parts of your memory will come back that weren’t there post-trauma and you will want to tell someone you trust (if you’re ready to). That being said, not everyone who has either of these disorders will want to talk about it more than once (or ever).
If you keep getting night terrors/anger outbursts/emotional control issues/etc. you’re letting the perpetrator win!! This one is troubling because that in itself is victim blaming. What you’re saying is, “You’re not allowed to feel this way or have a bad day because of what someone else did.”
That happened so long ago, why does it even matter? Once again, this is a very dismissive thing to say. A lot of things, traumatic or not, happened a long time ago but still feel like they happened yesterday; this goes for just about everyone that I know. Reminiscing about a time when you were at your first school dance? Perhaps it was a fond memory that meant a lot to you. “Well why does it matter?” - Now you may be able to get the gist of why it’s insulting.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has their own stuff going on. Okay. Yes, that is true. Every single human being on this planet has at some point been hurt, has their on b.s. or drama occurring. That’s not the point though. As much as I sound like a broken record, this.is.dismissive. Furthermore it erases the fact that the sufferer has been through something and chose to tell you in confidence.
Your sickness doesn’t define you. Of course this is yet another thing that a lot of people will say when they don’t know what else to say. Let’s be real; we know that PTSD/C-PTSD doesn’t define the person with it, however, they do have to live and cope with it to the best of their abilities. No one will be functioning at 100% when they have to deal with that.
It could have been worse/there are those way worse off than you. I beg your pardon? A veteran’s trauma versus a natural disaster trauma should not be counted in oppression points. Fact of the matter is, the individual has PTSD/C-PTSD. It isn’t anybody’s business how you ended up with the disorder, let alone who has it worse.
You need to forgive and forget the person/incident/event. It is not up to anyone but the person with the disorder to decide if they forgive the person that hurt them. Let alone forget them.
You’re not pure/you’re damaged goods/you’re tainted because of what happened. If this is the case, perhaps you should re-evaluate your values as a person if you’re throwing someone under the bus for living through something traumatic. Also, I can’t even fathom what a lack of humanity one would have to say that to someone, especially a CSA survivor. Would you tell a soldier he/she/they were bad or dirty for being in combat? Would you tell a little girl under 12 years old that she’s “asking for it”? Didn’t think so.
I mean…didn’t you enjoy it in some sort of way? That’s just our biology right? No. It was traumatic. Just because you somehow got along with the person who was the perpetrator does not mean that it is the victim/survivor’s fault. Chances are, if it was a traumatic event (especially when it’s a recurring thing) then it was not enjoyable. Not even a little bit.
Try to forget about it/Let go of it, it doesn’t exist anymore. It’s as if a lot of these well-meaning individuals seem to forget that PTSD/C-PTSD sufferers actually have awareness. Please note that some individuals are still living with the people or things that have caused this trauma. It’s one thing to know it doesn’t exist anymore, but it’s another when someone else is saying it to you as if you aren’t capable of thinking that thought already.
Why didn’t you talk about it when it happened? OR the alternative - Why has it taken you so long to talk about it? Very similar to victim-blaming; the questions have not-so-hidden implications that you’re lying about it. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that it’s not exactly social conversation to have - would you ring up your friends and talk about something traumatic that would make everyone uncomfortable?
My friend went through something like that. They turned out fine, you will too!! That’s great and all, however, each trauma is different. It’s great to bounce back from PTSD/C-PTSD (or ANY mental health issue for that matter), but how does one know that their friend isn’t over it? A lot of people still suffer with any range of mental illness that appear to be “over it”.
Quit using PTSD/C-PTSD as an excuse. I think it’s safe to say that we’re at a point in time where a large majority of us acknowledge that there is being a not-so-pleasant individual, and then there’s having a mental illness. These are not mutually exclusive.
i’m constantly stuck between ‘hug me and make me feel valid’ and ‘touch me and i’ll rip your fucking guts out’
person: *says something totally neutral*
my traumatized ass whos been conditioned to think that neutrality = anger and not to trust people who say im not annoying: IM SORRY WHAT DID I DO WRONG
If you’re crying bc of the crushing weight of the reality that time is passing and the suffocating pressure that everything you’re doing is Not Enough™ and you know it clap your hands
STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER THEY ARE MANIPULATIVE WHEN THEY AREN’T
STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES TO JUST TRUST YOU
STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER TO JUST LET GO OF THE PAST
STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES THAT THEY “DON’T LOOK DISABLED” BECAUSE THEY’RE SEEMINGLY PHYSICALLY OKAY
STOP TREATING ANXIETY AS IF IT IS SIMPLY NERVOUSNESS/SHYNESS
STOP DEMONIZING PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOSIS
STOP VICTIM BLAMING PEOPLE TRAUMATIZED BY ABUSE THEY COULDN’T ESCAPE OR CONTROL
STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHO ARE ISOLATING THEMSELVES AS HEALTHY A COPING MECHANISM (WHO WOULD OTHERWISE END UP HURTING THEMSELVES OR OTHERS OR BREAKING DOWN IN PUBLIC) THAT THEIR COPING MECHANISM ISN’T HELPFUL
THE LACK OF RESPECT THAT ILL PEOPLE RECEIVE ON TOP OF ALL THE SHIT THAT COMES WITH HAVING AN ILLNESS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS
RESPECT PEOPLE WHO ARE ILL
LEARN TO SUPPORT THEM
BE A GOOD FRIEND AND STOP BELITTLING THEIR STRUGGLES